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50 SHADES OF SHAME

I’ve started having worrying BDSM fantasies about my female friends

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M worried about the sexual thoughts I have about my female friends.

There is one in particular who I think about all the time.

I've started having worrying BDSM fantasies about my female friends
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I've started having worrying BDSM fantasies about my female friends

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I think I’m falling in love with her. I’m 23 and a single male.

The problem is the fantasy is always about them dominating me.

They tie me up or use handcuffs. Thinking of them like this is the only way I can orgasm.

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I haven’t ever had a relationship or had sex with any of them so isn’t this wrong

Sometimes I feel ashamed of what I have been thinking.

DEIDRE SAYS: People are sometimes interested in less mainstream forms of sex – BDSM in your case – and there is nothing wrong with that.

And many fantasise about friends – again that’s fine.

But where you need to be cautious is considering making these thoughts a reality – especially if you want to involve friends.

If it goes wrong it will have a big impact on your social life.

If you want a relationship, then focus on building a romantic connection first.

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