I fell pregnant after 1 month then got told my man was cheating – I knew it was true, all the signs were there
SWIPING open the Facebook voice note message, I was confused - it was from someone I barely knew.
But the words they uttered were about to shatter my world.
“Did you know Tony was at my mum’s house over the weekend?”
Tony was my boyfriend of a month and I was pregnant with his child.
I’d thought things were perfect but suddenly odd aspects of our relationship started piecing together like a jigsaw.
He was always sending me to the supermarket... but why?
He was always sending me to the shops to buy pasta, bread and milk. Meanwhile you couldn't get him off his phone.
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When I received a second message from a woman via Facebook saying “Did you know Tony stopped at mine at the weekend?” I knew it was true.
I didn’t reply, I didn’t want to, but I did believe her. Tony had been cheating on me. I felt devastated, I hadn’t been with him long but loved him so much. We were going to raise a child together.
Together a month... but true love
Tony and I had known each other all our lives. He was friends with my brother where we both grew up in , South Yorks.
But we lost touch after I moved out the estate where I grew up aged 18 and it was only in mid last year I was reunited with him.
Most read in Fabulous
I was walking through Barnsley town centre when I heard the quiet hum of an electric scooter whirring behind me.
I turned around expecting to see a teenager zipping down the street, but instead I was met with the grinning face of a hulking, tattooed bald bloke.
I immediately thought, “Wow, he’s really fit.” But it was the sight of him on a kids’ scooter that really made me giggle.
So I found him on Facebook and typed out a message: “You really rocked that scooter.”
I didn’t think much would come of it but we began flirting and when Tony asked me out, I felt a thrill of excitement.
“I’d like that,” I wrote back. “Why don’t you come to mine for a drink?”
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it's normal to know each other's passwords and use each other's phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
says: "If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful."
"You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something."
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
"If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don't want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag."
"Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it's an easy way to get caught out," says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner's libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: "Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren't there before."
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
"To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven't walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating," warns Aaron.
He did and as we got chatting, it was clear we shared a romantic connection in person, not just online. But there was one problem - he was fresh out of a relationship.
It made me wary and I worried it was too soon for him to pursue something new. But Tony promised me he was ready and I believed him.
It wasn’t long before I felt myself falling for him. So when I caught him furiously tapping away on his phone one day, I felt uneasy but didn't say anything.
An early pregnancy, which ended sadly
Then a month later, I discovered I was pregnant. Tony and I hadn’t been using protection - there was no reason why - but we hadn’t planned a baby and we hadn’t been together for long either.
I have two teenage sons from a previous relationship and Tony has a teen boy too. But we were both long out of the nappies and sleepless nights stage and I worried we weren’t ready for a baby.
I was fretful about telling him but he said it was “great news”. It was soon but once the shock subsided, both Tony and I were delighted. I couldn’t wait for our new arrival but I couldn’t help but notice Tony was still texting - a lot.
‘I don’t know what he’s playing at,’ I told my friends, but didn’t confront him. I was too nervous to find out exactly what was going on... maybe I was kidding myself. I tried to put it to the back of my mind but when Tony started sending me to the shops on vague errands, alarm bells rang.
"We’re running low on bolognese sauce, you ought to pop out to get some," Tony called out from the kitchen one day.
Next it was bread, pasta and milk - we always seemed to be short of something. I started becoming convinced Tony just wanted me out of the house so he could call another woman.
Humiliation and devastation
So when my phone pinged with the two notifications I realised I wasn’t just being anxious.
I cast my mind back and remembered Tony had told me he’d crashed at a mate’s place after a night out with friends.
It had made sense at the time but now all the texts, nights out and strange trips to the supermarket began to stack up.
Tony was sleeping with another woman and my worst fears had been confirmed.
The showdown...
It was humiliating and I was devastated as I clutched my barely there bump en route to confront Tony, who didn't live with me but was at mine a lot. Part of me wanted to walk away and never look back. But we had a baby to think about and I knew I owed it to him or her to at least hear Tony out.
‘It’s all lies,’ he claimed, before I revealed she'd contacted me. Eventually, Tony came clean and admitted cheating. When I was on one of the shop visits he'd even taken a photo in my bed of himself and sent it to her. I felt sick.
I debated leaving him - what woman wouldn't? - but he said he’d cut it off and I believed him. But I insisted we track each other's phones, something he agreed to.
Read More on The Sun
I was so excited about building our family but sadly I suffered a miscarriage about a month later which broke both our hearts. We're not planning on trying for another baby, we've got a dog now.
I know a lot of women wouldn’t forgive their ex but Tony is the man for me. He's handsome, funny and was amazing after the miscarriage. He's proved he was a real keeper when I was really upset. He made a mistake and I accept that. He wouldn't cheat on me now. Call me a fool, but our relationship is the real deal.
What Tony says:
Tony Nuttall admits he did the dirty to Fabulous:
He says: Yes, yeah yeah. I was yeah (trying to get rid of Gemma when I sent her to the shops).
Now we’ve got access to each other’s phones and all that stuff.
Yeah (I was contacting another women when Gemma was at the shops). Yeah I do (feel bad for cheating on Gemma) because I didn’t want to hurt her.
She’s a lovely woman and she’s got a heart of gold. I felt bad about everything.
There’s always that doubt there but I’m trying my best, do you know what I mean (to rebuild the trust and make it up to Gemma) and that’s the only thing I can do.
