Gut-wrenching moment I bonded with Jennifer Lopez revealed why she is desperate for friends and terrified to be single
SINCE Jennifer Lopez finalised her divorce from Ben Affleck in January she's been hanging out with an A-lister, dating a British comic and now there are rumours she wants her former fiancé back.
Once again, J-Lo, 55, is careering from one romantic disaster to the next with dizzying speed - and no inner circle of female friends to warn her to slow down.
Insiders say she secretly longs to make friends but has no clue how.
And I have to agree. I’ve met the superstar singer and she seemed lonely to me.
The star constantly burns through pals, striking up unlikely new friendships that never seem to stick.
She has never quite managed to make herself a girl’s girl.
When she and I met, Jennifer had just got engaged to Ben - and become Bennifer - for the first time.
Fast forward two decades, and while there can be no doubt that J-Lo is hunting for another new man, sources suggest she is threatened by other women and deliberately keeps them at arm's length.
Meaning there is no one to stop her from repeating the same mistakes.
Lately, she has been linked to movie star Kevin Costner and is rumoured to be getting close to British Ted Lasso comic Brett Goldstein.
There have even been suggestions of a reunion with baseball star Alex Rodriguez, who she was engaged to back in 2019.
A-Rod is currently dating fitness guru Jaclyn Cordeiro, and even Jennifer's most devoted fans might struggle to support yet another marriage or engagement.
But Hollywood insiders say she is ‘in love with love’, ‘addicted to passion’ and has a ‘constant need for adoration’.
“Jennifer has always been absolutely terrified of being single,” added a source close to the star.
“All her personal dramas are driven by a desire to be in a couple.”
J-Lo seemed in a surprisingly giddy mood when I first encountered her at the New York premiere of her 2002 movie Maid In Manhattan.
A-list celebrities rarely grant entertainment reporters more than a wave and a gushingly bland remark about loving their craft or their co-star, but gliding towards the press pen in a pearl satin gown, she was grinning broader than the smiley face emoji.
Ben, clearly in no mood for small talk just weeks after popping the question, pecked his fiancée on the cheek and made his way inside the Ziegfeld Theatre, leaving her to field the flashbulbs alone.
While he preferred not to talk about their romance, she was clearly dying to.
And so, when she was near enough, I shrieked at the top of my lungs: “Congratulations!”
To my absolute astonishment, she stopped with a syrupy smile and asked sweetly: “Wanna see the ring?”
She held out her beautifully manicured left hand and almost blinded me with the glint of that spectacular Harry Winston 6.10 carat radiant cut pink diamond engagement ring - which had set Ben back a staggering £1.2 million.
She is threatened by glamorous women, they terrify her
Hollywood insider
I gasped, a little starstruck by both her and the rock. “Is it heavy?”
Instead of rolling her eyes at my - frankly moronic - question, she giggled again: “Wanna try it on?”
I gasped and nodded, and she handed it over.
I have never held anything so valuable or so stunning in my life.
It was huge - roughly the size of a dice - with two trapezoid white diamond side stones mounted in platinum on an 18-carat pink gold band.
I quickly slipped it on my finger and we laughed together about whether I might one day marry a movie star too - and how funny it would be if I tried to make a run for it with the spectacular sparkler.
She lingered too long, laughing and chatting.
She asked where I was from and how London compared to New York - until her minder intervened, and the ring was politely but firmly snatched back to its rightful owner.
Since that night, I have not been surprised to see that Jennifer’s friendships with the likes of Victoria Beckham, Kim Kardashian and Meghan Markle have all been short-lived.
Nor that she has publicly made disparaging remarks about many famous women including Winona Ryder, Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Melissa McCarthy and Salma Hayek.
"She is threatened by glamorous women," revealed a source. "They terrify her."
So now, while Ben appears to be trying to rekindle things with his homely ex-wife Jennifer Garner, J-Lo finds herself with a stark lack of wise women to turn to.
Most recently, Jennifer has fallen out with actress Leah Rimini and there have been rifts with sisters Leslie and Lynda over her turbulent relationship with Ben, 52.
She parted ways with her longtime producing partner Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas when she said J-Lo’s ill-fated film This Is Me Now made her 'uncomfortable.'
Bitter feud
The self-indulgent project had already raised eyebrows among J-Lo's team, who tried in vain to steer her away from the idea.
But she went ahead anyway - bankrolling it to the eye-watering tune of $20 million.
Then came The Greatest Love Story Never Told, a toe-curling documentary about her 20-year love story with Affleck.
The critics swooped, her subsequent tour was axed over poor ticket sales and a rumoured Las Vegas residency never materialised.
She threw shade at Gwyneth, saying: “Tell me what she's been in? I swear to God, I don't remember anything she was in.
“Some people get hot by association. I heard more about her and Brad Pitt than I ever heard about her work.”
Dissing Winona, J-Lo said: “I was never a big fan of hers.
"In Hollywood she's revered, she gets nominated for Oscars, but I've never heard anyone in the public or among my friends say, 'Oh, I love her.'
“She's cute and talented, though, and I'd like her just for looking like my older sister, Leslie.”
Jennifer even took aim at the Queen of Pop herself, Madonna: “Do I think she's a great performer? Yeah.
“Do I think she's a great actress? No.
“Acting is what I do, so I'm harder on people when they say, 'Oh, I can do that- I can act.' I'm like, 'Hey, don't spit on my craft'.”
Rival stars
And then there was a spectacular falling out with rival Latin star Salma Hayek, 58.
J-Lo was furious when Salma apparently claimed she had been offered the part Jennifer played in the 1997 film Selena.
“We're in two different realms,” sneered J-Lo.
“She's a sexy bombshell and those are the kinds of roles she does. I do all kinds of different things.
“It makes me laugh when she says she got offered Selena, which was an outright lie.
"If that's what she does to get herself publicity, then that's her thing.”
The fear of being alone drives my life
Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer went on to claim that she had turned down the part that went to Salma in romcom Fools Rush In alongside Matthew Perry, the same year.
J-Lo insisted she had never wanted the role and chose instead to star in the far less successful film Anaconda.
“Columbia offered me the choice of Fools Rush In or Anaconda, but I chose the fun B-movie because the Fools script wasn't strong enough,” she added.
Meanwhile, J-Lo has lurched between four disastrous marriages with a conspicuous absence of either bridesmaids or hen parties.
The star tied the knot with waiter Ojani Noa in 1997 and divorced him 11 months later.
She later married dancer Cris Judd in 2001, but that ended after only nine months.
Jennifer and third husband Marc Anthony wed in 2004, shortly after her first engagement to Ben Affleck came to a screeching halt.
The couple share twins Max and Emme, but their divorce was finalised in 2014.
After that, she was engaged to A-Rod, before they called it quits in 2021 amid reports of his infidelity.
And at long last she became Mrs Affleck in 2022, but the marriage was over in a blaze of embarrassing publicity less than two years later.
'Giddy' with love
This week, Ben broke his silence on the split, telling GQ there was "no scandal, no soap opera, no intrigue"... "It’s just a story about people trying to figure out their lives and relationships in ways that we all sort of normally do."
Jennifer has previously been compared to Elizabeth Taylor, who famously married eight times - twice to the same husband, Richard Burton.
She has confessed in the past that she is always searching for her perfect match, saying: ''The thing I'm most afraid of is being alone, which I think a lot of performers fear.
"It's why we seek the limelight - so we're not alone, we're adored.
“The fear of being alone drives my life.”
Jennifer Lopez's relationship timeline
Ojani Noa
Lopez was briefly married to Cuban waiter Ojani Noa. The pair wed on February 22, 1997, but split less than a year later.
Since then, Lopez has endured legal challenges regarding her relationship with Noa, including in 2006 when she sued to prevent him from publishing a book about their marriage.
Sean Combs
While working on her debut album On The 6, Lopez began dating record producer and rapper Sean Combs.
They dated for two years from 1999 to 2001.
Cris Judd
After splitting with Combs, Lopez began to date former backup dancer Cris Judd. They wed on September 29, 2001.
But this too was a brief marriage, as they divorced less than a year later in June 2002, citing irreconcilable differences.
Ben Affleck
Just months after divorcing Judd, Lopez became engaged to actor and filmmaker Ben Affleck in November 2002.
The pair were due to get married in September 2003 but postponed the wedding indefinitely just a day before the ceremony and then split January 2004.
Nearly 20 years later, the pair made headlines after rekindling their romance in July 2021.
Marc Anthony
Following her heartbreak with Ben Affleck, Lopez started a relationship with her longtime friend, singer Marc Anthony.
She married Anthony in June 2004, and on November 7, 2007, during the final night of their co-headlining tour, the couple announced they were expecting their first child.
Lopez gave birth to twins Emme and Maximilian in February 2008.
But three years later, in July 2011, the couple announced their split and filed for divorce in April 2012. Their divorce was finalized in 2014.
Casper Smart
Between October 2011 and August 2016, Lopez had an on-off relationship with her former backup dancer, Casper Smart.
She then found love with former New York Yankees baseball player Alex Rodriguez the following year.
In March 2019, the couple announced their engagement.
Alex Rodriguez
Rodriguez met Lopez 20 years ago when the baseball star asked for the pop star's autograph and again at New York Yankees game.
It was first announced the couple was dating in March 2017.
On April 14, 2021, the couple released a statement to Today saying that they have ended their two-year engagement.
