Mum shares heartbreaking images of stillborn son who she gave birth to while in a COMA – and believes he sacrificed himself to save her
Charley Moran sat with her stillborn boy Timothy for five days - cuddling, chatting and singing to him
A MUM-OF-FOUR has shared heart-breaking images of her stillborn son who she spent five days with after giving birth to him while in a coma.
Charley Moran, 31, from Burnely, Lancs., believes her boy Timothy sacrificed himself so she could get well and care for his brothers and sisters.
She told how she was rushed into hospital in May after contracting sepsis from a kidney infection while 25 weeks pregnant.
She was put into a medically-induced coma and woke up three days later to discover she’d given birth to Timothy but he hadn’t survived.
She then spent five days making memories with her son who weighed just 1.8lbs – less than a bag of sugar.
Stay-at-home mum Charley is now raising money to help fund a refrigerated cot – known as a cuddle cot – to help other families spend precious time with babies who are stillborn.
She said: “He’s my little guardian angel. He gave his life for me. I gave birth to him while I was in a coma and I didn’t remember any of it. I didn’t remember birthing my son.
“They told me I had stage four septic shock and my body had started shutting down but once I’d delivered him I started to recover.
“Everyone told me to look at it like he’d been released to help me because I was needed back at home to look after his brothers and sisters.
“He gave up his fight so I could win mine and come back to them.
“I found it very hard to take. I was thinking, ‘What baby should have to give up its life to help its mum?’”
Charley and shop assistant partner Chris Stott, 36, got to spend five days cuddling, talking to and taking pictures of little Timothy who stayed in a cuddle cot next to Charley’s bed in Burnley General Hospital.
Describing how she learnt he had been stillborn, she said: “I just remember them bringing him back into the room and placing him in my arms. It felt like I’d been robbed of the chance to give birth to him.
“I had my family, partner and two nurses break the news to me that my son had passed away.
“I don’t know how to put into words how that felt, I was destroyed."
She continued: “I broke down. I couldn’t understand what had happened to me. It didn’t feel real. I had no memory of delivering him.
“I had this beautiful little boy and I just wish he would have made it until the Sunday when I woke up and they brought him to me but it was not meant to be.”
Explaining why she opted to sit with him after he died, she said: “I stayed with him until the Thursday then I had to let him go because the cuddle cot could no longer preserve him.
“In those final days I was able to cuddle him, talk to him, kiss him, sing to him and change him.
“I told him about the things I wished I could have done for him and that he could have done with his brothers and sisters.
“It was so important that we were able to make memories and take photos, which was thanks to the cuddle cot.
“At least I got to show him some of the love I should have shown him when he had been delivered.”
The mum also had teddy bears made for her and Timmy.
What is sepsis?
Dr Ron Daniels, of the UK Sepsis Trust, said: “Sepsis is the way the body responds to an infection. “It often develops after a chest infection or a urinary tract infection but it can also develop after a cut, a bite or sting. If not treated quickly, it can lead to organ failure and ultimately death.
“We all know what having an infection feels like. You might feel a bit under the weather. But those with sepsis often feel like they are at death’s door.
“If you feel something isn’t right, call NHS 111 or speak to your GP and ask, ‘Could it be sepsis?’ It’s crushingly common. There are around 250,000 cases a year in the UK. It’s more common than heart attacks.
“The numbers recorded by the NHS are going up by ten per cent a year.
“Sepsis claims 44,000 lives a year but 40 per cent of survivors are left with long-term health issues.
“That’s 50,000 to 60,000 people every year.”
“We had identical bears,” she explained. “I had one beside me in hospital and Timothy had one in his cuddle cot. When he was taken to the morgue we swapped them so he had the one with my scent on it.
“He was a perfect tiny little boy with 10 fingers and toes.
“He had massive feet which were completely out of proportion to his body like my other children. We say big feet means a big heart.
“All my children have the biggest feet and the biggest hearts.”
Charley, who only found out she was pregnant three weeks before Timothy died, was told she had a urine infection during her first antenatal appointment.
After feeling pain in her back and having contracted sepsis nine months before due to a kidney blockage she decided to go to hospital.
Things took a turn for the worse the following day after the infection got into her blood-stream and her body started to shut down.
Charley said: “I was diagnosed with stage four sepsis shock and they put me into a medically induced coma.
“Between them taking me into theatre and putting my in a coma I just remember saying ‘what about the baby?’
“I agreed to them putting me into a coma because I wanted to fight the infection and save my baby. I thought ‘if I can’t fight it how can this tiny baby?’
“I would have done anything for that tiny little boy.
“I keep thinking ‘why didn’t I notice or do something about the infection before?’ I’m always going to feel like I could have done more.
“He was my baby and my responsibility. There was nobody else that could protect him. He was growing inside me and I should have protected him.”
Charley takes comfort from talking about Timothy with her children James Moran, 11, Amelia Stott, seven, Liam Stott, six, and Illeana Stott, 21 months.
Charley said: “It took us about six weeks before we were able to show the pictures to our children.
“We now have a framed pictured of Timothy’s perfect little feet on the wall.
“We sat the kids down and said to them ‘when mummy was poorly she was pregnant and the baby died from an infection that almost killed mummy’.
“My 11-year-old was very upset and asked me why he couldn’t be saved.
“We talk about him all the time. We’re going to make sure his memory is kept alive.
“We had a memory guardian bear made and the children talk to it every day.
“We tell the children when they see a white butterfly that it’s Timothy come to play with them.
“It doesn’t matter where they are if they see a white butterfly they shout ,‘Hello Timothy. Are you coming to play?’
“Even though he’s not here they acknowledge they have a little brother.
“We had him cremated and will place his urn in a flower plant in the garden so he’s there with his family where he belongs.
“I’m struggling to cope but I’m trying to keep going forward because of the children. When they’ve gone to bed I have my time when I can grieve and feel sad.”
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