‘Bleurgh what’s wrong with him?’ Mumsnet users are up in arms about husband’s stash of socks he’s MASTURBATED into and left under the bed for his wife to clear up
Dozens of ladies have come up with 'helpful' suggestions of how to halt the bloke's habit
EVER wondered where your missing socks are going, and why it’s so difficult to scramble together a pair?
Well, as one wife found out the hard way, you may want to check under the bed.
One Mumsnet user was horrified to discover her husband’s secret stash of ‘used’ socks in their bedroom… which he had been using to MASTURBATE in before dumping, instead of washing or binning, them.
Explaining her dilemma online, Pits and Peaks said: “I don't know if I should laugh, scream or roll my eyes....
“Few months ago I found a huge stash of socks under mine and DHs (dear husband’s) bed, thought I'd finally solved the weird odd sock problem I seem to have.
“A month later and it was back but this time I noticed the socks were crisp and solid at the end, didn't take me long to figure out DH has obviously been using these… you get the picture.
“There is always some there and I've had to scream at him about it recently.
“I'm not comfortable with ignoring it because they are under the bed we both sleep on and it's just really unsanitary.
“Today I've come home and there is a used condom in its wrapper and three socks nearby.
“I'm aware it's perfectly healthy and normal to masturbate, but surely cleaning up after yourself is part and parcel of this?
“I feel like this is a problem mums with teenagers have to deal with not their husbands, but maybe I'm just being unreasonable and I should just bin/put in wash and move on with the next gazillion household chores I seem to be lumbered with?
“I have fury right now but maybe it's misplaced.”
However, NO ONE thought the woman was being unreasonable – and her fellow mums were more than happy to offer suggestions about how to stop her husband’s ‘disgusting’ habit.
Mrs Terry Pratchett said: “Bleugh that's just bleugh. Does he want you to throw away his toilet paper and nail clippings as well?
“When I had a small disagreement with DH about work out gear and sweaty underwear, he was told if it happened again, he would find then wrapped around his pillow.
“Pillowcase full of socks?”
Anchor Down Deep Breath added: “Just start using prongs to put crusty socks in his drawers. And then in his pockets.
“And generally everywhere so he can't avoid them. It's so foul making someone else deal with them.
“Or buy a big collection of vibrators, make them look used and leave them round the house...”
Damson Gin Is My Thing agreed, saying: “I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate it if you just flung your used tampons in the corner of the bathroom.”
And Trapped Nerve said: “Solution – just get him a bucket. Easier to clean.
“A w*** bucket. Can feel a Dragons’ Den moment coming on...”
Doreen Lethal took a harsh stance, saying: “I would have thought the easiest solution would be to get a better husband.”
Bus Stop Betty suggested: “Bin them. Every single one.
“He'll hopefully get the message when he doesn't have any socks left. Or stick a picture of his mother in his sock drawer.”
The wife decided to try out some of this excellent advice, with questionable results.
She said: “I've binned a lot... he went out and got more, which is actually the first time in his life he has gone and bought his own.”
And later revealed: “I left his pillow downstairs last night with used condom and socks on top for when he got in.
“He slept downstairs. He becomes really p****y when he is embarrassed so I'm sure this weekend will be great.”
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Apparently, the un-named husband doesn’t take the socks from his drawer when he gets the urge – but instead uses his dirty ones at the end of the day.
Pumper the Pumper said: “I think the worst bit is that he's not even using clean socks!
“Imagine peeling the sweaty ones off at night and thinking 'oi oi, here we go!'”
Olennas Wimple suggested: “Could you get his mum to buy him socks every Christmas and birthday, and remind him regularly that they were a gift from her? Might put him off his stroke?”
However, there was ONE lady who sympathised with the bloke and his unusual habit.
Borrowed Heart wrote: “Think some people are over-reacting, he is allowed to please himself if he wants to.
“Yes, he should clean up but leave it long enough and I’m sure he will.”
