Massive impulsiveness, doing as he pleases… and seven other reasons why Stephen Bear is so aggressive towards the CBB housemates
Ex on the Beach’s Stephen Bear surely takes a place in my BB hall-of- fame for gut-churning storylines
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As a Big Brother expert for twelve years, Ex on the Beach’s Stephen Bear surely takes a place in my BB hall-of-fame for gut-churning storylines. Because watching him makes you queasy.
Yet you’re a fly caught in his web, drawn to watch his personal car crash. Fellow celebs realised early his nickname Bear is apt. "Poke" him and you pay big-time.
How does Bear create such ructions?
All of Bear’s behaviour is about gaining power. I’ve not met him but he uses psychological techniques to hold housemates emotionally "captive".
For starters, he repeatedly says "this is how I am" to excuse bad behaviour. Self-justification techniques have a subtext: if you criticise his bad behaviour you criticise him as a person.
This makes people who try to see the best in someone, back off and excuse him. Result! He has fewer adversaries.
Bear uses this to good effect with Saira who swears he just needs another chance. She doesn’t see his body language shouts "disinterest" when they chat.
Massive impulsiveness
Bear’s complete impulsivity is rare. He has no filter, literally saying what’s on his mind.
Examples are countless. From randomly telling supposed pal Lewis Bloor that he (Bear) could have Marnie Simpson any time. To laying into every housemate – bar Sam Fox - at some point.
Such impulsivity makes relationships impossible – including those in the house. You fly off the handle and make snap judgements. Probably one reason why Bear says he’s never had a proper relationship.
Doing as he pleases
Things like mixing a fruit juice and coffee "cocktail" – wasting what’s vital to others – wreaks emotional havoc in a fragile atmosphere. It reveals Bear has no regard for other’s feelings.
This would put anyone’s nose out, but especially celebrities used to being fawned over.
It’s something toddlers do to spite others, flagging up Bear’s inability to recognise consequences.
He leaps without seeing the behavioural equivalent of a "ten floor" drop.
The fallout in Bear’s case is being up for "eternal" eviction.
Yet Bear gets shocked
Someone like Bear realises they’ll annoy some. But mistakenly assume others will see things from their perspective – that it’s fun, jokes.
That reveals the narcissism trait – everything’s about you and your pleasure. I’d guess Bear scores quite highly on this.
That’s why he jumped on a very high horse, shocked and furious with the "eternal" eviction.
But his bear-sized ego meant he couldn’t resist starting conversations with those he said he’d never speak to again. He desperately tried to re-exert control, threatening things would worsen.
Unpredictability
Bear’s a master at using intimidating, sometimes aggressive, techniques to get housemates to either comply with his wishes or even fear him. Frankie and others report they feel threatened by his unpredictability.
It’s an ultimate source of control – you walk on egg-shells never knowing if he’ll be jokey-Bear or angry/malicious-Bear.
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Sexual power
Quite apart from saying he could "have Marnie”, Bear uses raw sexual behaviour to score points.
His first kisses with Chloe were blatantly to wind-up Heavy D. Further snog-sessions seemed about obvious proof he could get-the- girl. The kisses were in-your- face (right in Chloe’s face, how did she breathe?!), more about camera-time.
His ‘chat’ about women generally is about scoring, taking advantage, doing as he pleases. Sex is a power trip.
Control through body language
Bear has extraordinary body language - it’s always alert, intense, often aggressive. Whether chatting to Lewis, having Aubrey read his palm after spit-gate, or showing off to Heavy. Powerful body language controls people without words.
Cross him if you dare
Bear revealed an unforgiving nature when discovering Renée Graziano knew about Aubrey’s spitting and didn’t report it to him. Their flirtatious friendship’s long gone.
This is a warning to others, absolute loyalty must be shown or risk Bear’s bad books.
What Bear really wants
The sad truth is someone like Bear craves recognition, probably lacking it in the past. Ditto craving being liked, because inside, he might feel unlikeable. He lashes out because inwardly he hurts.
If Bear learnt that other’s feelings count, he could be an epic housemate – full of fun.
Then for the right reasons he could wrap people around his little finger. Rather than controlling them to toe his line.
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