Brave mum who made the agonising decision to switch off her baby’s life support says Charlie Gard’s parents should ‘let him die’
A MUM who made the agonising decision to switch off her baby’s life support system and let him die says Charlie Gard’s parents should do the same.
Lisa Salmon and her husband Mark Walker, both journalists, were delighted when their much-wanted baby boy, Conor, arrived in January 2001 – almost exactly a year after she survived a head-on collision with a lorry, which left her blind, shattered her skull and broke most of her bones.
Conor, weighing 7lb 6oz, was healthy at birth but, at one day old, he suffered devastating brain injuries because he “forgot to breathe”.
On doctors’ advice, Lisa, 34, and Mark, 35, of Leeds. decided to let Conor die, which he did peacefully later the same day.
Charlie suffers from mitochondrial DNA depletion syndrome and doctors at Great Ormond Street believe his life support should be turned off.
Now, as Charlie's parents – Chris Gard and Connie Yates – prepare to present new evidence to the courts on Thursday, Lisa says she understands what they are going through.
In a moving piece, she said: “Charlie Gard’s parents are living through a nightmare most parents, mercifully, will never experience.
“I can relate to their pain more than most, perhaps, because my husband and I had to make the agonising decision to switch off our first baby’s life support machine when he was just two days old. We didn’t question the doctors’ advice.
“So, rather than the stress of the very public battle Charlie’s parents are fighting to keep him alive, we agreed to let our son, Conor, die in our arms within a day of his brain injury.
“Should we have taken the doctor’s advice so quickly? Should we have kept him alive and sought at least a second opinion?
“Certainly, Charlie’s case has made me question the decision we took back then, at what was a horrendous time, when we were in deep shock.”
She continued: “But I still have no doubt that we did the right thing, both for Conor and ourselves, and I think Charlie’s parents would be doing the best thing for him by switching his ventilator off and letting him slip away peacefully, just like my beautiful Conor did.
“However, I do appreciate that Conor’s case is different to Charlie’s.
“Conor was born in January 2001, almost exactly a year after I survived a head-on collision with a lorry which left me blind, shattered my skull and broke most of my bones.”
She said: “Given that I shouldn’t have survived the crash, Conor was a miracle baby. He was born completely healthy after a long labour, and we were kept in hospital the following night.
“When Conor cried for a feed the midwife showed me how to feed him lying down, and then left us alone. I fell asleep while feeding him, although I didn’t mean to.
“About half-an-hour later I woke up with Conor still at my breast, but could get no response from him. I called the midwives, and apparently Conor was blue, although I couldn’t see that, and his heart had stopped.”
She continued: “The midwives rushed off with him, and doctors managed to restart his heart and put him on a ventilator.
“We’ll never really know why he stopped breathing as he lay with me, although the inquest ruled it was overlaying. Doctors felt because he was newborn, his proximity to me and the heat possibly meant he ‘forgot’ to breathe.
“Soon after Conor was put on the ventilator, doctors told us there was no hope and it would be best to turn it off, as his brain had been deprived of oxygen for so long that he wouldn’t be able to breathe unaided.”
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She continued: “It didn’t even occur to me or my husband to question their advice. They’d done the tests, they had the knowledge and experience, and if they advised us that switching off the ventilator was best, then that was what we were going to do.
“Our families came to say goodbye and a priest administered the last rites, before a midwife took Conor off the ventilator. He died in our arms within minutes.
“Losing him was like a physical pain, I can’t begin to describe it.”
She said: “Even so, I would rather deal with that than with the alternative of letting what was left of Conor live.
“Charlie’s parents Chris and Connie say there’s no evidence their son has catastrophic brain damage, but doctors treating him say they believe his brain damage is severe and irreversible.
“His doctors say the treatment his parents want him to have is potentially painful and very unlikely to improve his condition, although Chris and Connie believe it has up to a 10% chance of working.”
She continued: “They’ve said, ‘Until you’re in this situation, you don’t understand the power of hope.’
“I do understand. But ‘hope’ for what?
“Life with very little, if any, independence and meaningful experience? That’s what life would have been for Conor if we’d tried to prolong it for him, and that’s almost certainly what Charlie’s life will be like if it’s allowed to continue.”
She said: “That, to me, isn’t hope. It’s a living death. I didn’t want that for my baby, who I loved just as much as the Gards love their son.
“God, I wanted Conor to stay with us more than anything – anything except the prospect of him being kept alive by machines and medication, being unable to tell us if he was in pain, and never truly living.
“Why would we keep him ‘alive’ like that, other than to spare ourselves the pain of his death?”
She continued: “The decision we made was right for us and, I truly believe, for Conor.
“But I’m not saying that’s the RIGHT decision for Charlie’s parents.
“I think it’s best for Charlie and his parents to let him slip away peacefully but I also think there’s no right and wrong in terrible cases like this – it’s not black and white, and every case, every baby and family, is different. Charlie’s parents can only do what they believe is best, whatever the rest of us think.”