We review the Ferrari 488 GTB from price to economy and all its features

THE list of things you are not allow­ed to do with a borrowed Ferrari runs to two pages.

You can’t compare it to “any other car”. You can’t take it to a test track.

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You can’t use any electronic devices to see how fast it is.

You can’t “abuse the tyres” — or you’ll be charged.You can’t leave it outside ­overnight.

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Kerb a wheel and that’ll be £400. Oh, and there’s a £5,000 insurance excess.

Hmmm. So, what are we left with?

Plodding around at 22mph and looking a k**b while everyone shakes their fists at you and shouts “Nescafé”?

But hang on a minute, there must be something else you can do . . . yep, there is. I’ve double checked. There’s nothing on the list to say you can’t go to Woburn Safari Park.

Take a Ferrari . . . on safari.

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So here we are, at Woburn, giving a monkey a ride on a £250,000 supercar, dodging two-ton rhinos, lions and other furry friends with claws and antlers. And it was bright red. Now I’m sure red makes some animals angry?

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Happily, this Prancing Horse went home without a mark on her and it only cost me two tanks of 98 octane.

It sits lower than a snake’s belly

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Now I must mention the car itself. This is the 488 GTB — Gran Turismo Berlinetta — which replaces the 458. Like the 458, it’s pretty close to magic.

It’s a 205mph two-seat rocketship dripping in F1 tech and my, oh my, isn’t she beautiful?

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Creamy. Dreamy. Try to draw a better silhouette of a car and you can’t. You just can’t. Except for those rubbish stick-on door handles.

The official stats tell me it is blisteringly fast — 0-62mph in three seconds and 0-124 in 8.3. Not that I tried it. In race mode. At night. Nope, not moi, that would be foolish. I stuck to 22mph, as instructed. So I can only guess that it’s faster than my Transit.

Damn, I just compared it. Sorry.

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So what can I tell you? Well, it sits lower than a snake’s belly, all the controls are easy to reach, and it sounds like a Ferrari should, even with a turbo.

Like being strapped to a missile

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Nail it, my foot did slip once, and it’s like being strapped to a missile. It’s wonderful. Wild. But controllable. And when your vision is restored and the scenery isn’t so blurred, the rev limiter, a line of red LEDs on the steering wheel, just egg you on.

There’s no turbo lag. Just a relentless charge. And I’m pleased to say the brakes work too. They’re extreme Brembos nicked off the LaFerrari.

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Every new Ferrari comes with seven years’ free servicing and free roadside assistance for life (beat that Kia).

But I doubt the AA would stop to help in a lion enclosure.

VERDICT: It’s an animal.

GOOD JOB WE AVOIDED KUMBUKA AT LONDON ZOO...

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This is a stunt. No cars or animals were harmed on this shoot