We review the Audi Q7 (2015) from price to economy and all its features

DOING my job, you end up knowing a lot of useless information.

I am often sat around dinner tables with fellow motoring journalists and PRs discussing cars in minute detail, where I end up being told all sorts of pointless rubbish.

This week I found out how much a grand piano weighs.

4

Do you know how much a grand piano weighs? No, because you are normal (apologies to any piano builders out there).

I can tell you now, a grand piano weighs 700lb — the amount of weight Audi have stripped out of the new Q7.

It has turned a solid but slightly cumbersome SUV into a mean, lean driving machine.

I had to Google it, so while I was there I looked up other stuff that weighs 700lb (not my weirdest internet search by a long stretch).

Apparently, a Nile crocodile does.

4

So did one of the world's fattest teenagers, a 16-year-old American kid who was so chunky he broke the seats of his mum's van.

Or — and I had to get creative with this one — five Jennifer Lawrences. That would also weigh the same.

Out of a murderous reptile, an obese teen, or a five-a-side squad made from the hottest woman in the world, I know which I would like to load into the back of the slimmed-down Audi.

So why is the Q7's diet so important? Because it has turned a solid but slightly cumbersome SUV into a mean, lean driving machine.

In fact, it is now the lightest in its class, coming in under 2,000kg on the scales, dramatically reducing the power-to-weight ratio of its 272bhp, 3.0-litre diesel engine.

4

As anyone who has shifted a few pounds will tell you, a lighter frame means more speed, less effort to move and greater agility. And compared to the old model, the new Q7 is faster, more fuel-efficient and a doddle to manoeuvre.

But, unlike a lot of celebs, the dramatic diet has not left it gaunt and fragile. The Q7 still looks the business, with a new 3D grille, 20in wheels and some attention-grabbing LED headlights.

The Q7 comes better kitted than an F-16 fighter jet

But it is inside the cabin where Audi''s big boy impresses most. To sate our never-ending thirst for bigger and better technology, the Q7 comes better kitted than an F-16 fighter jet.

There is a head-up display on the windscreen, four-zone climate control, a "virtual cockpit" — which displays the sat-nav on the driver's console — and all manner of cameras and sensors to keep you safe on the road.

The pop-up screen is controlled with a finger-tracking pad, the Bluetooth and DAB radio complemented by a digital jukebox laid on by Audi, and mood lighting that gives it the feel of a high-class nightclub.

The soft-blue strip lighting and ambient glow of the door lights is bizarrely calming, especially in traffic.

4

As I mentioned before, compared to the last generation, the new Q7 feels breezy and light.

It seems almost to glide along the road, there is so little engine noise and road rumble.

Despite its dominant size and commanding driving position, it never feels too big … except on small country lanes when there is another Q7 coming towards you.

The auto box is guilty of too much lag from time to time, especially in "dynamic mode", which supposedly adds a devilish dash of urgency to the performance, but it is barely noticeable.

And, being a Q7, there is room for seven people plus luggage.

So if I ever do manage to clone Jennifer Lawrence, the trip to Butlin's will be easy-peasy.