The Ferrari 812 Superfast may have a daft name… but it is super fast, and super cool
Here's our review of the Italian brand's latest offering - all £250,000 of it
I MUST confess that I love/hate Ferrari.
On the one hand it makes the most extraordinary road cars on the planet — as well as being the daddy of F1.
But on the other, it knocks out more tat than a beach hut in Benidorm.
Cheap perfume, chavvy trainers, towels, baseball caps (worn by complete and utter bell-ends) and now there’s even a Ferrari theme park in Spain.
But let’s concentrate on the good stuff and the latest rocketship to wear the Prancing Horse.
Key facts: Ferrari 812 Superfast
Price: £253,000
Engine: 6.5-litre V12
Power: 800hp
0-62mph: 2.9 secs
0-124mph: 7.9 secs
Economy: 19mpg
Top speed: 211mph
CO2: 340g/km
Out: Early 2018
This is the 211mph Ferrari 812 Superfast. Yep, SUPERFAST.
Possibly named in two seconds by some kid on work experience.
“Hey, Giorgio, what shall we call the fastest production Ferrari ever. It’s really, really fast. Any ideas?”
Giorgio: “Er . . . Superfast?”
“Perfecto.”
But in truth Superfast is a nod to the 410 and 500 from the 1950s and 60s.
And I can also explain the 812.
The “8” stands for 800hp and “12” for 12-cylinder engine. Yes, bruv. V12.
Naturally aspirated. Non turbo. Much noise, much speed.
Ferrari doesn’t really bother with 0-62mph times, it’s all about 0-124mph (7.9 seconds by the way) and in-gear acceleration.
In second, third and fourth you can go from 3,500rpm to 80 per cent maximum torque in just 0.8 seconds.
That’s weapons-grade.
Faster than a fat lad looking for Greggs.
Now forgive me for a little bit of car-speak.
The 812 replaces the F12berlinetta — like the 458 became the 488 — mixed with blistering performance and rear steer from the special-edition F12tdf. Only better.
It actually has 20 more horses than the F12tdf, better aero, electric steering, shorter gear ratios and the up/down shifts are even quicker.
There’s 70 years of engineering excellence frothing around in this car.
There are five drive modes. Select “Track” with “Bumpy Road” suspension for everyday cruising and it’s a dream to drive.
As soft and playful as a box of puppies.
Open the taps on longer runs and a game of “beat the satnav time” is boringly easy.
But for a quick squirt at a race track, flick the switch to CT OFF or ESC OFF to loosen the nanny blankets and engage drift central.
Wow.
This car is so well balanced when you nail it around Fiorano (Ferrari’s test track) and it just loves high-speed oversteer.
Absolutely loves it. It’s so reactive.
It stops well too — using the same brakes as the LaFerrari.
The extras
IT’S hardly equipped like a cave but 812 customers will still spend around £40,000 to £50,000 on extras – making the average selling price £300,000.
The options list includes:
Floor mats with logo, £768
Titanium wheel bolts, £960
Ferrari logo on wings, £1,056
Suit holder, £1,440
Privacy glass, £2,640
Carbon fibre steering wheel with LEDs, £2,880
Suspension lifter, £3,264
Passenger screen, £3,360
Hi-fi system, £3,552
Carbon fibre seats, £5,184
Matt silver forged racing wheels, £5,568
Golf bag, £6,240
TOTAL: £36,912
Inside, the 812 is understated elegance with all the main controls centred on the steering wheel: Starter button, drive mode, suspension, wipers, indicators . . . you soon get used to it. And, of course, it has F1 flappy paddles for hero gear changes.
I’m sure there’s a radio somewhere but I didn’t try it.
You don’t need Steve Wright in the Afternoon when you’ve got a V12 making your heart dance.
One more thing. Tick the box for the £3,360 “scare-ometer”.
Sorry, I mean “passenger screen”.
It’s basically a letterbox-shaped touchscreen that shares speed, revs, gear and G-force with your wingman.
He’ll soil his naff Ferrari Y-fronts. Guaranteed.
VERDICT: Love. Superfast and super cool.
MOST READ IN MOTORS
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Want one? Yes peas.
And I’ve just remembered one more green thing: Envy.
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Crazy, huh? Sit on a cushion for a free facelift.
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And somewhere in between 1 & 2 set new GTE qualifying and race lap records.
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Gaydon could easily treble production now.