Devastated dad recalls agony of telling his daughter, 3, that her mum had killed herself after she asked ‘where’s mummy?’
A DAD has revealed the heartbreaking moment he had to tell his three-year-old daughter her mum had killed herself - after she asked: "Where's Mummy?".
Joel Jenny, 32, broke the bewildering news to little Macy as doctors prepared to switch off life support for her mother Beajay Phillips, 25.
Beajay, a care home nurse in Queensland, was ruled brain dead after a suicide attempt a week earlier and medics said there was no chance she would recover.
Joel was faced with the agonising task of explaining it to their young daughter, who is three and a half - and deciding whether to let her say goodbye before she died.
He : "My daughter started to ask questions like 'where's mummy?' and stuff like that.
"I'd kind of just change the subject. By the end of it I just couldn't live with the guilt of not telling her what was going on.
"I took her to a quiet area and told her, and my mum helped me with that, and just explained it to her the best I could in her language.
"It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life and was so heartbreaking. Being three she doesn't fully comprehend it."
WAKES UP SCREAMING FOR MUM
He said he was unsure whether to let Macy see her mum in intensive care but came round to the idea after advice from healthcare workers.
Joel said: "I don't think I could've lived with the guilt for the rest of my life of not giving her the opportunity to say goodbye."
Beajay's life support was turned off on October 7.
It was just over a week since Joel - who had split from her after seven years together - spoke to her for last time on the phone while he looked after Macy at his parents' house.
Just two hours after that final call, he got another from Beajay's flatmate saying she had tried to take her own life.
He said he had no idea she was struggling with depression.
Joel said: "It was terrifying, it was not something you can prepare yourself to hear. I was speaking to her two hours earlier. And she was perfectly fine. I was just in shock."
He raced to her house to find paramedics had managed to keep her alive and taken her to hospital.
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After a "horrific" week, he now has to adjust to life as a full-time single dad - and says Macy still struggles to understand what's happened.
He said: "Her whole life has changed in a matter of three weeks. She's gone from seeing dad every second weekend to being with me full time.
"There's been a couple of nights she's woken up in screams - screaming out for her mother. That's been so heartbreaking, you try your best to be there for them but they don't want that."
Joel's sister has to help them financially so he can take time off work to look after his daughter.
YOU'RE NOT ALONE
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society - from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You're Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let's all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others... You're Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, , 0800 585 858
- Heads Together,
- Mind, , 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus,, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans, , 116 123