My big-hearted boy, 26, killed himself after pandemic left him jobless, skint & stuck at home alone 14 hours a day
WITH a loving family, a massive circle of friends and a dream job designing signs, Mike Penhalagan had his whole future ahead of him.
But this June, the 26-year-old tragically took his own life after the Covid pandemic left him unemployed and stuck at home alone 14 hours a day.
'I'm forgetting how to talk to people'
Just hours before he died, he had told his worried mum: "I’m on my own so many hours in a day I’m beginning to forget how to talk to people."
Mike, from Worcester, is one of the hidden victims of the pandemic and among more than 4,000 males dying by suicide in the UK every year.
Latest official figures show male suicide rates in England and Wales have soared to a 20-year high - while suicides of young people have also spiked.
And there are fears the numbers will only rise - as the coronavirus crisis sparks a raft of mental health issues among adults and children alike.
It's why Mike's grieving mum Rachel Burton is sharing her son's story, as she backs The Sun’s Christmas Together campaign - which shines a light on loneliness and tries to help those feeling vulnerable this winter.
"Because of lockdown, I didn’t know what was going on," sobs Rachel, who lives in Shobdon, Herefordshire, around 40 miles away from Mike's home.
"I couldn’t see his mental state. We were sat here in the sunshine having tea and cake and he was in pain over there, and I didn’t know."
Heartbreaking final catch-up
Rachel, a drama teacher, had enjoyed a coffee and a catch-up with her son just hours before his death after lockdown restrictions were eased.
And aside from Mike's comment about spending so much time alone, she says he was "normal" - with the pair even laughing and joking together.
“He must have been putting on a show for me," she recalls sadly, adding that she encouraged Mike to "get out" and socialise now that he could.
"If he’d have told me that day, 'Mum, I'm feeling really rubbish and I need you to be here for me', I would have been there and he knows that."
The Sun’s Christmas Together campaign
THIS Christmas we are teaming up with the Together Campaign, a coalition of community groups and organisations, and Royal Voluntary Service to combat loneliness.
And we want to recruit an army of volunteers to support those feeling cut off, anxious and isolated, this Christmas.
Could YOU reach out to someone who might be struggling and alone?
It might be someone you know in your own life or community who needs support.
Or we can connect you with someone in need through the NHS Volunteer responder programme run by the NHS, Royal Voluntary Service and the GoodSAM app.
Could you give up half an hour to make a call and chat with someone feeling isolated? Or could you volunteer to deliver essential shopping or festive treats?
Go to to sign up as a volunteer.
You will then receive an email taking you through the sign up process and be asked to download the responder app which will match you to those in need in your area.
Don’t worry if you don’t get a job straight away, because jobs are matched according to the need local to you. Being ready to help is what really matters.
Mike, a kind-hearted American footballer who would "do anything for anybody", had struggled with mental health issues in his teens.
But as he grew up - swapping lads' holidays and school success for a career in design - the intelligent young man seemed to be "so much better".
From dream job to redundancy
Eventually, he landed a dream job designing signage.
“He loved it, he started going out speaking to people, designing signs for them and having them fitted up on their premises," says Rachel, 60.
Yet when Covid struck, Mike suddenly found his job was on the line. And having worked there for only a matter of weeks, he was the first to go.
"It was last in, first out," says his mum.
"Just before the furlough scheme started, they made him redundant."
Devastated by his job loss and struggling financially, Mike - who lived with his girlfriend - started spending hours online trying to find a new role.
But he faced competition from thousands of other unemployed Brits.
Grim data last month revealed 782,000 people in the UK have lost jobs since March - with the unemployment rate hitting 4.8 per cent in the three months to September, up from 4.5 per cent in the previous quarter.
I’m trying to get jobs, but every time I apply I’m 30th or 40th or 50th in the queue to get there
Mike Penhalagan
Shortly before he died, exhausted Mike had said: "I’m trying to get jobs, but every time I apply I’m 30th or 40th or 50th in the queue to get there...
"I can’t be fast enough."
And Rachel tells us: "His girlfriend was working long hours in care, so he was in the house on his own for about 14 hours a day on lockdown.
"[He was] constantly on the internet applying for jobs."
Suffering in silence
During the Covid lockdown, Rachel and Mike often spoke via phone. But Rachel says her son kept taking a while to answer, which concerned her.
"I’d have to ring and ring and ring and ring," she says. "I would send him messages: ‘Please, pick up the phone to me’. And he would eventually."
Reassuring his mum that he was fine, Mike - also a rugby and golf fan - would joke: “You know me, Mum, if I’m doing something I just ignore it."
But secretly, the popular young man was suffering in silence.
On June 4 this year, Rachel drove to her son's for a chat over coffee.
But when she suggested to him that he should go out and meet friends now that he legally could, she says he replied: "I haven’t got any money."
"He said, 'I can’t move the car because I’ve got no fuel', so I gave him some money for some fuel," adds Rachel, married to husband John, 67.
He gave me a hug and he said, 'I love you mum', and I said, 'I love you Mike', and that’s it
Rachel Burton
However, the pair also shared some lighter moments - including coo-ing over online pictures of puppies - before Rachel headed back home.
Recalling the end of the visit, the mum weeps: “He gave me a hug and he said, 'I love you mum', and I said, 'I love you Mike', and that’s it.”
Thanks to his hard work, Mike had actually secured a job interview for the next day. But that night, when his girlfriend was out, he took his own life.
Rachel was watching a film at around seven minutes past midnight on June 5 - a time now "etched" on her brain - when she received the phone call from his girlfriend's stepdad.
“I just absolutely lost it... I dropped the phone," she says.
Every parent's worst nightmare
Speeding off to Worcester, Rachel and John had no idea whether Mike, affectionately dubbed 'Big Mike' by loved ones, had been saved.
"Honestly, I don’t know how we got there in one piece," says Rachel. "It’s normally an hour and a quarter, I think we did it in about 45 minutes."
Arriving into Mike's street, the couple were confronted by every parent's worst nightmare: police cars, an ambulance and shocked neighbours.
"I got out the car and a police officer just came up to me and said, 'I’m sorry for your loss'. And that’s when I knew he was dead," says Rachel.
After realising her beloved boy was alone inside the house, the mum raced through the door and sat beside him, while a policewoman waited nearby.
“I shouted at him first," she admits of the moment she saw Mike.
"I shouted at him, 'What the hell have you done?'
"You know what it’s like when [you] lose a kid when they’re young - you’re angry first then you just want to hold them.”
I shouted at him, 'What the hell have you done?' You know what it’s like when [you] lose a kid when they’re young - you’re angry first then you just want to hold them
Rachel Burton
Rachel's overwhelming grief was only compounded weeks later when she realised only 20 people could legally attend Mike's funeral.
“That was hard - who comes and who doesn’t come," she says. "My relations and friends were really good. They really understood.”
During the service at Worcestershire's Vale Crematorium, Rachel's singer friend - whom Mike enjoyed listening to - sang for her son.
His ashes were then laid to rest beside his granddad's.
"He lost his grandad about 18 months before he died... the two of them are together," says Rachel, who also has a daughter, Susan, 31.
Mike's inquest was concluded last month, with a verdict of suicide.
The coroner found a number of incidents, including Mike's job loss and the Covid pandemic, had contributed to the tragedy, according to his mum.
"He had actually got an interview to go to," says Rachel.
"[But] I think he just couldn’t see any way forward."
Biggest killer of men under 45
Suicide is the single biggest killer of men aged under 45 in the UK.
And for those left behind, the loss is immeasurable.
“I’ve gone back to work part-time but it’s so hard," says Rachel.
"I have good days and bad days.
"I have days where I only cry once and days where I’m totally devastated - I don’t want to do anything, I don’t want to go out."
Most read in News
The mum is now urging other men - and women and children - to speak out if they're struggling this winter, after her own son hid his suffering.
“I’ve gone over and over it. To me, there were no signs because I think he hid it from me... he knew that I would know," she says.
Read More on The Sun
“I would have known if he hadn’t put on a show for me that day.”
- If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 116123.