'ITS VITAL WE TALK'
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WHEN I did my tours of Afghanistan, I was so focused on the task at hand that unlike most soldiers I didn’t rush to use my phone credits for calls back home.
But that changed at Christmas. On December 25 I would always make sure I called the family, even if I had just come off a mission.
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Nothing would stop me.
Christmas is such a celebratory, joyous period that it has to be shared with others. You can’t keep it to yourself. And speaking to my wife and children would lift my spirits.
This is why I am backing The Sun’s Christmas Together campaign to tackle loneliness.
The Sun’s Christmas Together campaign
THIS Christmas we are teaming up with the Together Campaign, a coalition of community groups and organisations, and Royal Voluntary Service to combat loneliness.
And we want to recruit an army of volunteers to support those feeling cut off, anxious and isolated, this Christmas.
Could YOU reach out to someone who might be struggling and alone?
It might be someone you know in your own life or community who needs support.
Or we can connect you with someone in need through the NHS Volunteer responder programme run by the NHS, Royal Voluntary Service and the GoodSAM app.
Could you give up half an hour to make a call and chat with someone feeling isolated? Or could you volunteer to deliver essential shopping or festive treats?
Go to to sign up as a volunteer.
You will then receive an email taking you through the sign up process and be asked to download the responder app which will match you to those in need in your area.
Don’t worry if you don’t get a job straight away, because jobs are matched according to the need local to you. Being ready to help is what really matters.
The initiative is looking for volunteers to offer their time to strike up a conversation with people who do not have anyone else to talk to.
It is important no one feels left out during the festive season.
The epidemic of loneliness has worsened with the Covid-19 crisis because so many of us have been banned from meeting friends and family.
As this terrible year draws to a close, we all have an opportunity to do something positive by picking up a phone and talking.
They say that Christmas is more about giving than receiving, and I believe that both sides will benefit immensely from these conversations.
You are going to help yourself because you will learn something from the person on the other end of the line.
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Something they say will strike a chord with you and remind you how we share the same experiences.
It will strengthen you as a person and strengthen your relationships.
And this campaign is not just about talking to older people. All ages can find themselves detached from society.
Between 18 and 21 I isolated myself a lot, and when I look back on those years I realise I was extremely lonely.
Although I was born in Britain, I lived in France from the age of nine to 16.
The country has a very different culture. As a teenager I would go bowling and have a cup of coffee or a hot chocolate.
When I joined the British Army it was a very boozy atmosphere where fighting was part and parcel of life on a base. I didn’t fit in.
So I was left with the choice of either falling into it and becoming one of them, which did not sit well with me, or breaking away from it.
In the end I opted to move on, switching to the Royal Marines, which is part of the Navy, then joining the Special Forces.
I got through it and realised from a young age that if I wanted to succeed in the military I needed to communicate a lot more.
It is vital for the mental health of the nation that we talk
If you are going through a lonely stage don’t be desperate and become part of something that isn’t you.
The way to find out about yourself and others is to open up to people, to find who is like-minded, to find who are your people.
That is very much trial and error. Teamwork is how we get things done.
Even though it took those couple of years of loneliness, where I was fighting my own battles, ultimately I found where I belonged.
That is why I always say you need to talk.
Loneliness by number
1 in 5 people fear they won’t see anyone over Christmas
37% people know someone who will be spending Christmas alone
16% Brits said they were ‘dreading’ Christmas
52% said they have helped a vulnerable person during the pandemic
4.2 million adults always or often felt lonely during the second national lockdown
16 to 29-year-olds are twice as likely as the over-70s to be experiencing loneliness in the pandemic
£5.9m marked by Government pilot to tackle loneliness
Lonely people tend to communicate in their heads, with the words bouncing around so they don’t really hear what they are saying.
But when you talk out loud, when you communicate verbally, you hear your own voice — and then you actually listen to it.
It is vital for the mental health of the nation that we talk — and that doesn’t necessarily mean talking about our problems.
The world is built on bringing ideas and stories together.
You can have these ideas in your head, but when you have a like-minded individual to share them with you can achieve amazing things together.
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Humans are fascinated with each other and are more connected with each other than we realise.
More than ever, this is the time to rekindle relationships, really reach out to our families and speak to your neighbours.
I will especially be thinking of all the children who do not have a family, those who are in care homes, those who are not as fortunate as most of us are.
How to donate
IF you would like to donate to support the work of the Royal Voluntary Service, text RVS5 to 70570 to donate £5, visit , or call 0800 731 9197 – lines open Monday-Friday, 9am to 5pm.
- RVS receives 100 per cent of your donation. Texts cost £5 plus one message at your standard network rate. Always get the bill payer’s permission. UK networks only. The RVS would like to contact the people who text by phone and SMS with campaign updates and new appeals. If you want to give, but don’t want these updates, type NO INFO after RVS5 when making your donation.
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The whole country has suffered this year and we need to help each other.
If we can brighten up someone’s day by sharing our time with them during this period it will make a difference.
Read More on The Sun
Once the world goes back to a million miles an hour, which it will do very soon, you will be glad to know you helped the nation heal.
- Need help? If you are someone who would like a friendly call or you need a helping hand with your shopping, just call 0808 196 3646 (8am-8pm, seven days a week)
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Last Christmas I lavished my kids with gifts, now I can only spare a tenner
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