SITTING naked in the front seat of car, Holly Brockwell was eaten up with shame as her grey-haired lover pulled up at traffic lights - revelling in the horror of his 'barely legal' girlfriend.

The humiliating stunt was all part of the twisted game the married 35-year-old was playing with the vulnerable British schoolgirl - who was just 18 when he flew her out to the States.

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The kink-obsessed older man also fixed rope restraints to the bed in his hotel room - where he tied helpless Holly up - and encouraged her to have sex with him in a children’s playground. 

For Holly, who was desperate to escape her turbulent home life, the offer of a free plane ticket to America to spend the summer with her American lover, who she met online, had seemed like a dream come true.

Instead she was thrown “out of the frying pan into the fire” as he indulged his fantasies of sex with a teenager.

At the time, Holly, now 39, felt “mature and sophisticated”, with the dad-of-three taking her out for dinner and on trips to see “cool places” - where she was often mistaken for his daughter. 

But two decades on, she feels devastated over the illicit relationship, as a Sun investigation reveals how cases of ephebophilia - where adults, like shamed maths teacher Jeremy Forrest, are sexually attracted to teens aged 15 to 19 - are on the rise in Britain.

It comes amid an explosion of ‘barely legal’ pornography - with fame-hungry OnlyFans star Bonnie Blue last week sharing a video of herself kissing a ‘schoolgirl’ - and sugar daddy websites. 

“When I turned 35, his age at the time, I was disgusted by the thought of doing anything with an 18-year-old - they looked so young, like children almost,” Holly, from Nottingham, tells The Sun. 

“Although I thought I was super mature and sophisticated as an 18-year-old who'd been able to have sex [in Britain] for two entire years, in his country I was ‘barely legal’.”

While the age of consent for sex in the UK is 16, it is 18 in some US states. 

“I wondered then if that was the kind of porn he looked at: ‘jailbait’,” says Holly, whose lover had told her that his “cold, distant” wife ignored him and hadn't slept with him in years.

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“He had all these kinks I didn't understand at all,” she adds. 

“He'd brought a set of rope restraints and had them already set up on the [hotel] bed.

“He liked public sex, too. He had a fantasy about being discovered but being too in the moment to do anything about it. 

“So I went along with it and had sex with him in a kids' playground in broad daylight. He kept saying, ‘someone's coming!’, and all I could think was, ‘I'm going to get deported’.

“He also wanted me to strip naked in his car and sit in the passenger seat as he drove around, again in broad daylight.

“I remember feeling like it was probably OK as we sped through crowded streets, that no-one would be able to see much.

“But when we stopped at traffic lights, I felt like I was dying of shame. He looked delighted.”

'Dangerous infatuation'

Ephebophilia differs from both the well-known disorder paedophilia, where the person has sexual feelings towards pre-pubescent children, and the lesser-known term hebephilia, where an adult has a sexual interest in children in early adolescence, typically aged 11 to 14.

In cases of ephebophilia, the adult is sexually interested in post-pubescent teens - which includes school-aged children.

They would also look at porn featuring schoolgirls - magazines in those days had titles like 'Barely Legal', with photos of models in uniforms and knee-high white socks

Antonella Lazzeri

Married teacher Forrest, then aged 30, appeared to show a preference for teens when he disappeared with a 15-year-old pupil to France in 2012, triggering a global manhunt. 

The predator, now 42, was locked up for five-and-a-half years, and placed on the sex offenders’ register for life, for abducting and having sex with the underage pupil. 

He was also ditched by his first wife, Emily, after the scandal emerged.

In recent weeks, Forrest - who reinvented himself as a baker following his release from prison - has been spotted kissing, hugging and shopping for underwear with a new girlfriend, Jessica Amos.

While Jessica is not a teen, at 27, she is still 15 years Forrest’s junior. 

Speaking out in 2017, the pupil who had fled from East Sussex to France with Forrest revealed that she’d thought he was “so cool” and that she was “deeply in love” with him.

She added that she had since recognised the relationship was a “dangerous infatuation”.

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“I have seen a continuous growth in the number of cases involving ephebophilia, particularly over the last five years,” top UK criminal defence lawyer Marcus Johnstone, who specialises in sex crime and has defended hundreds of alleged child rapists, tells The Sun.

“There is an increasing number of older men who want contact with ‘barely legal’ - girls because their fantasy is young girls.”

Marcus, of Cheshire-based , says an “explosion in porn addiction and porn availability” has led to more mature men being “attracted to younger girls”. 

At the same time, schoolchildren aged 14 to 16 are said to be increasingly “interested in having sex and meeting more mature men”, not realising their vulnerability.

“There has been a notable increase recently in sugar daddy sites – often children wanting mature men to provide for them,” adds Marcus.

“Of course, this usually means sexual services in return.”

Sugar daddies tend to be wealthy, older men who treat their sugar babies - younger females or males who aspire to live in luxury and comfort - to lavish gifts. 

I knew he was married. He told a tale of a cold, distant wife who didn't understand him, had no time for him anymore, and hadn't had sex with him in years

Holly Brockwell

To use sugar daddy websites, you must be at least 18 - yet Marcus warns that some users lie about their age and that girls as young as 14 can “easily look” older.

'Barely legal' obsession

Dorset mum Antonella Lazzeri says schoolgirl-themed porn isn’t a new thing. 

“I dated two men when I was in my late twenties and thirties who made no secret of the fact that they had a thing about schoolgirls,” Antonella, now 60, tells The Sun.

“They would talk with their mates about seeing schoolgirls going to school and what they would like to do with them. 

“They were open about having dated very young girls and how they had asked them to keep their uniforms on during sex.

“I didn't like it at all and finished with them.

“They would also look at porn featuring schoolgirls - magazines in those days had titles like 'Barely Legal', with photos of models in uniforms and knee-high white socks.”

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In Holly’s case, the clothes she wore for school were admired by her older American lover. 

“He thought my British spellings - and accent, when I sent voice messages - were cute, and he said nice things about the photos I'd take of my outfits for school,” she recalls. 

“I knew he was married. He told a tale of a cold, distant wife who had not time for him and hadn't had sex with him in years.

"It makes me cringe now to think of how easily I swallowed the age-old tale of the poor, sad man with a wife who didn't understand him, who needed a younger, cuter girlfriend to bring him back to life.”

Holly, who runs a rescue centre for disabled cats called , met the man through a popular online pet game, which she’d played to escape her challenging home life. 

Her dad had died when she was five, and her relationship with her mum was difficult.

She spent “every spare moment” in the game’s chat room, talking to people she’d never met.

‘I GOT CARRIED AWAY’: Sick excuses made by real-life ‘ephebophiles’

Criminal defence lawyer Marcus Johnstone (above), of PCD Solicitors, shares with The Sun some of the chilling excuses given by alleged ephebophiles and hebephiles - those with a sexual interest in kids aged 11 to 14 - to excuse their inappropriate behaviour:

“I’m not attracted to children; I just got carried away.”

“I have a porn addiction and fell into a black hole.”

“I thought she was an adult pretending to be a child.”

“In my country, it is legal to have sex with a 14-year-old.” 

“She told me she was 18 so that’s ok.”

“I was looking out for her. I just wanted to warn her of the dangers of meeting men.”

“[The man] was 35 and came from the US, but travelled all over the world in his job. He seemed impossibly grown up, worldly, and interesting,” Holly tells us.

“I was awed and felt I had nothing to offer by comparison.”

Due to his work, the man was often away from home for “weeks or months at a time”.

And, as the summer of 2004 approached, before Holly was due to start at university, the man told the teen he would be alone at a hotel for five weeks - and wanted to pay for her to visit him.

“It seemed like a dream come true… I could have this big exciting adventure with a man who thought I was cool and ‘so mature for my age’,” says Holly, cringing at what she now knows was “another cliché”.

“He sent the money and I bought a ticket immediately. I intentionally used a travel agent that I knew offered educational trips, and that was my cover story.”

'I was purchased'

Suffering from “crippling” anxiety and little life experience, Holly says she was forced to ask a friend to explain, “step by step, how an airport worked and how to get on my flight”. 

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“I had absolutely no clue what I was doing,” she admits. “On the morning I left, I panicked as I got into our family friend's car.

“I had a pit in my stomach. What if this man wasn't who he said he was? What if he murdered me and chopped me into bits? But I was between a rock and a hard place. 

“As the car started, the radio kicked in with the words, ‘whispered goodbye as she got on a plane, never to return again’ – This Love by Maroon 5.

“It was absolutely everywhere at the time but I took it as a sign and resolved to go.”

Landing in America, Holly's lover greeted her with a hug. 

“We hadn't outright said that I was coming for a sexual relationship, but I think we both knew that was the subtext,” she tells us. 

“I remember putting my suitcase down on the bed in his hotel room, turning around and him instantly being all over me… kissing, touching.

“I didn't have a chance to catch my breath.”

[There was ] just over £1,000. I was delighted, and tried to ignore the feeling of having been purchased

Holly

The teen, who had been in one previous relationship - with a boy she'd lost her virginity to - says the man looked older in person than in photos she’d seen on the computer. 

“I remember being amazed he had some grey hairs,” she says.

During her summer at the hotel, Holly says she and the man - who went back home to his wife for three of the five weekends she was out there - occasionally talked about his family.

“The most awkward time was when we watched Love Actually together, and he started absolutely bawling at the end, because of the storyline with the man who cheats on his wife,” she says. 

“I had to comfort this grown man about cheating on his wife, the mother of his children, with me.

“I felt horrible, but also justified, as he maintained the story that she was cold to him and he was only staying with her to keep the family together.”

At the end of her holiday, Holly says both she and her lover were in tears. 

“I cried for the entire flight home, and when I got back to England, I cried so much in the couple of weeks before uni that I couldn't wear my contact lenses anymore,” she recalls.

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“He'd been sneaking little bits of money out in cash so his wife wouldn't notice, and handed it to me in the airport as a wad of American notes. 

“[There was ] just over £1,000. I was delighted, and tried to ignore the feeling of having been purchased.

"I used the money to buy a laptop for university, telling my mum I'd earned the money at a summer school.”

Despite their apparent closeness, Holly would never see her lover again. 

He went away for a long time with work, and claimed he couldn’t contact anyone. 

Looking back, Holly believes he was “weak”, and that he wouldn’t have been interested in her if she was older because she’d have been able “to see the situation for what it really was”.

'No justice'

Unlike paedophiles, ephebophiles do not face legal action if they are caught, providing their sexual relationship with the teen - or child - is consensual, the youngster is aged 16 or above, and there has not been an abuse of trust, such as a teacher sleeping with a pupil.

I feel sad for younger me, I feel sad that she felt like she had no choice but to put herself at such risk

In 2021, British teacher Kandice Barber was jailed for having sex with a 15-year-old boy in a field.

Barber, 35, who had sent the pupil topless snaps, kissed him on the neck and ­whispered, ‘What do you want to do now?’ before driving him to a field where they had sex.

And earlier this year, a history teacher in Scotland was struck off after he confessed to stalking teenage pupils.

“Creepy” Fergie Robson, 57, of Lanarkshire, had asked one girl to send him a video of her twerking.

He had also rubbed one victim on her thighs to remove dog hair, a court heard.

Robson admitted four stalking charges of girls aged between 15 and 17, but was spared jail.

While an ephebophile not in a position of trust could have sex with a girl, or boy, aged 16 or 17 without being legally punished, they could be jailed for taking, possessing or sharing a sexual image of the same youngster.

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For Holly, the memories of her own adult-teen relationship bring heartbreak. 

“I feel sad for younger me,” she says. “I feel sad that she felt like she had no choice but to put herself at such risk.”

She adds: “I think a lot of the older men who pursue much younger girls are experts at picking out the ones who are in bad situations, who might be persuaded to come out of the frying pan into the fire.”

Decades on from these relationships, the girls are often left feeling confused and conflicted.

I feel horrified about how young and unbelievably naive I was, and how lonely I was in that hotel room by myself

Holly

One London woman, who was 15 when she met a 26-year-old man who quickly became her lover, tells The Sun she felt “flattered” at the time but doesn’t know how to feel now. 

“On the one hand, I think, ‘why the f*** would you speak to a child?’” says the now 35-year-old woman, who wishes to remain anonymous. “But then, on the other hand, I think, ‘I was mature, I did look older, was he a paedo or was he just naive?’”

And Holly admits: “Looking back now, I'm torn.

“I feel horrified about how young and unbelievably naive I was, and how lonely I was in that hotel room by myself [while the man worked].

“But I'm also grateful that in such an incredibly dangerous situation, he didn't rape or harm me, and he didn't murder me or keep me in his basement. 

“No-one would have known to look for me, my mum wouldn't have had the first idea about what to tell the police if they’d asked about this summer school I was supposedly at. 

“It could have been a hell of a lot worse.”