We all have reasons to be glad that an oaf like Donald Trump is in the White House

I AM amazed at how many women and girls I know attended the big Women’s March in London last weekend.
Some of them had never been on a march in their young lives.
Some of them had not been on a march since the anti-apartheid protests of decades ago.
All of them had a great time — even my mate at the Telegraph, who was afraid that her pro-Brexit beliefs would leave her out of step with other marchers.
All of them, from 14-year-old girls to fiftysomething women, despise Donald Trump’s casual, crass sexism.
All of them are appalled by Trump’s apparent contempt for women. As the father of a growing daughter, I share their feelings.
And even as she wows them in America, I bet Theresa May does too.
May is on record about what she calls Trump’s “inappropriate” reflections on women, including his remarks about how amenable they are to “pussy-grabbing” when you are a rich old git.
This went way beyond locker-room banter. I was never in a locker room where men advocated sexual assault.
But a nation has to work with the friends it can get.
He is not even Stalin — one of the greatest allies this country ever had.
When the Russians were sacrificing 25million of their people in what they call the Great Patriotic War against Nazi Germany, the West did not raise objections about Stalin’s morality.
Our nation was fighting for its life. We could not afford to fret about Stalin’s human decency. We were damn glad he was there.
And we should be glad that fate has placed Donald Trump in the White House just when this country needs all the allies it can get.
In the uncertain world of post-Brexit Britain, Theresa May needs Trump almost as much as Churchill needed Franklin D. Roosevelt at another precarious moment in our history.
We don’t need a special relationship with Donald Trump. We don’t need to believe that the sun shines out of his hair-do.
We need a hard-headed, mutually beneficial working relationship with the new President of the United States. We would be mad to turn up our noses at Trump.
Call me a mad optimist but I do not believe there is anything in heaven, Earth or the Supreme Court that can stop this country leaving the European Union now.
Not Gina Miller. Not Tony Blair. Not what remains of the Labour Party. Not the House of Lords.
But we want to do more than survive outside the EU — we want to thrive.
Whatever you think of the man, having Trump in the White House makes that infinitely more likely. May has struck the perfect note with Trump — refusing to excuse his offensive prattle about women while constantly reiterating that the US and the UK are ancient allies, joined by the deep bonds of history, culture and language.
You can make new friends but you can’t make old friends. And while applauding the women and girls who marched last weekend, I wonder if Donald Trump’s view of women is really light years away from how Bill Clinton or John F. Kennedy regarded women.
Perhaps we should ask Monica Lewinsky.
Or some of the women JFK bedded behind Jackie’s back.
Trump shouts about putting America first. But when was there ever a President who did not put America first? Do we really think that Barack Obama did not put America first? Every leader should put their own nation first.
Far more importantly to the UK is where — when it comes to trade deals — Donald Trump chooses to put the European Union.
And that is right at the back of the queue.
— ST CLARE’S Catholic School in Birmingham has banned a four-year-old Muslim girl from wearing a headscarf. Why all the fuss?
I doubt if a little four-year-old Catholic girl would be allowed to wear her crucifix at a Muslim school.
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Camilla's glass is half full
WHILE Prince Charles writes a Ladybird book on climate warming, Camilla recommends that we look on the bright side. As the Earth heats up, the British will start making fantastic wine.
“I expect with global warming we are going to get better and better wine,” said Camilla – the daughter of a wine merchant – when addressing the UK
Vineyards Association.
Cheers, Camilla!
What a wonderful queen she will be.
— LABOUR faces a momentous date with destiny in the two by-elections to be held on February 23.
That seems optimistic about Labour’s chances in Stoke, where they have chosen a candidate, maniac Remainer Gareth Snell, who shrieks Brexit is “a massive pile of s**t” – and is trying to get elected in a seat where 69 per cent voted Leave.
Both Stoke and Copeland are traditionally safe Labour seats.
Both are up for grabs now that Labour MPs and Labour voters disagree so profoundly about Brexit.
If Jeremy Corbyn loses both safe seats, he is toast.
Or, as they call it in Islington, lightly grilled ciabatta with a dribble of olive oil.
Syria war not for us, Bojo
But Theresa May and Donald Trump have no appetite to repeat the catastrophic mistakes of Bush and Blair, who destroyed Iraq, or David Cameron, who bombed Libya into the failed state it is today.
The West is sick to death of failed military interventions in someone else’s misery.
We are tired of leaders, who never heard a shot fired in anger beyond the grouse moor, sending someone else’s sons and daughters into a war that can never be won.
So there will be no British boots in Syria, Boris.
Syria’s sectarian civil war is not our war.
British forces should fight to protect British interests – not to re-make the wicked world.
And Syria is not worth the life of one British serviceman.
Choose facing up to debate
If Ewan disagrees with Piers’ views, surely it makes sense to calmly and rationally confront him on live TV?
Or do we no longer talk to people we disagree with?
Ewan was meant to be promoting T2 Trainspotting, a film so unappealing – ageing druggies confront the male menopause – that many of us would far prefer to see La La Land for a second time.
Surely the Trainspotting sequel needs publicity?
Choose Piers, Ewan. Choose debate.
— FOR the first time in years, Prince Harry looks positively fit.
There is only one reason on earth why a former podgy-faced, bleary-eyed party boy starts getting in seriously good shape.
It must be love.
— CHELSEA’S Eden Hazard was a dead ringer for The Man From Del Monte as he headed for the bright lights.
Diego Costa, he say: “Yes!”
The pint-sized Belgian is fortunate that he is worth millions.
Remember what Peter Crouch said he would have been if he hadn’t been a footballer?
A virgin.
— CAN’T recall any cat ever working as a guard cat, or an assistance cat or a cat who herds sheep.
Dogs work. Cats clean, preen and look snooty.
Still, I would not argue with new research from Kyoto University, Japan, that insists cats are as intelligent as dogs.
When my dog Stan meets a cat, he is curious, friendly and polite, approaching every flea-bitten old moggy with an air of, “Hello – I’m Stan. What kind of interesting creature are you?”
The cat always stiffens with horror, as if it can’t decide if it should scratch out Stan’s left or right eye first.
Cats may be as smart as dogs. But dogs are nicer.
— DAVID BOWIE was a bit different to other rock stars.
Unlike Sir Mick, Sir Elton and Sir Rod, he declined the offer of a knighthood. When the Victoria and Albert Museum had its retrospective of Bowie’s career, he declined all invitations to be the V&A’s guest of honour – although I am reliably informed that he slipped into the exhibition incognito and saw it as a member of the public.
Bowie did not consider himself a star. He believed he was an artist.
He could never be bought by the Establishment.
And I know he would have loved them.