FINAL WORDS
DAN Walker has revealed he is haunted by whether he could've stopped Gary Speed's death hours after appearing on Football Focus.
The presenter says he still replays his conversations with the Wales coach before his death in 2011, and has memorised "every word" said that day "verbatim".
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The former footballer was found hanged that night, following his appearance on the BBC show, presented by Walker.
Dan, 43, who also fronts BBC Breakfast, says Speed's death still "eats me up" and he re-runs that day in his head wondering if he could have said anything to prevent the father-of-two's death.
Speed's wife Louise found him dead in the family garage on the morning of Sunday November 27, 2011.
He had appeared on Football Focus the previous day, alongside fellow former Leeds midfielder Gary McAllister.
Nine years on, Speed's two sons Tommy and Ed have spoken publicly for the first time about their heartbreak in a book written by Walker.
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Speaking on the Headliners podcast, Walker himself admits he still wracks his brain wondering if he missed clues to their father's mindset in that TV appearance the day before.
He said: "Could I have said something to him that day?
"Now, was I a good enough friend to him, could I have spotted something?
"And I've been through every conversation, virtually every word, I can remember verbatim what we spoke about on that Saturday.
"The final thing he said to me was, he was talking in detail about all the games that Wales had coming up and what tactics he was going to play in those tournament qualifiers.
"And he spoke about his children and he asked me about my children, which is what he always did, he always asked people about what was going on in your life, he was interested in other people.
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"And I've been through every word that he said that day and the same with Gary McAllister and we've wondered as friends could we have done something or was there something we could have seen or something we could have predicted.
"And it does, it eats you up a bit. But I feel far more concerned for his two boys and I feel so happy that, they're never going to be in a great place because they've lost their dad, but they're in a really positive place and they are looking forward to living their lives to the full."
Walker also recalled the occasion when TV personality Jeff Brazier nutmegged Speed in a Wales v England pro-celebrity game and incurred the former Leeds and Newcastle wrath.
Walker explained: "Jeff is a great footballer, a proper, proper footballer, but he did a thing in that game which you should never, ever do and he put the ball between the legs of Gary Speed.
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"And not only did he do that but he called 'megs' on Gary Speed who I think at the time had more appearances in the Premier League than any other player.
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"I could see the anger in Gary Speed's eyes and he came over to me at half time and told me politely that I should have a word with Jeff because if he tried that again it wouldn't end well.
"I told Alan Shearer that story and Alan, well, it was clear that Jeff wouldn't have been on the pitch much longer if he had called 'megs' on Alan Shearer."
If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 116123.