The Brangelina split has acted as more of a help than a hindrance to elevate the mediocre Allied
It's scandalous how a great cast along with a fantastic director has led to such an average film
A LOT will be written about this film.
A lot will be said about the furore over Brangelina’s divorce overshadowing it and how the gossipy whispers about the leading couple’s off-screen relationship are just spiteful and insulting.
Well, that is more than likely true — but in this case all the column inches may have done Allied a favour.
It has deflected the true scandal here: that a fantastic director and great cast can churn out such an average film.
The premise is this — two Allied spies couple up, seeking some form of normality.
Just as life seems to be carrying on in the right direction, there’s a bombshell.
Max Vatan (Brad Pitt) is told his wife Marianne (Marion Cotillard) is a German spy.
He is disbelieving and given 72 hours to find out the truth.
If she is, he must act on it in the way he has been trained.
It starts off promisingly enough with the pair, having never met before, fooling the bad guys with their chemistry and joining forces to unleash a heap of whoop-ass on some soldiers.
Inevitably, they break the golden rule (Don’t **** where you make a buck) and end up as a couple (which happens over the space of, oooh at least 15 seconds) by having a bonk in a car during a sandstorm.
From this romantic, old-fashioned beginning, the film reaches the top of the hill then freewheels all the way to the bottom, falling off its bike and grazing its backside.
We’re meant to feel devastated by the decisions Max has to make — and attempt to second-guess Marianne’s true colours.
In the end we’re left wondering what the hell the writers were thinking.
Are we really supposed to think the Allied bosses are merely trying to test Max’s loyalty by seeing if he would murder his wife on command as suggested?
Do me a favour.
What could have been a great, intense tale of betrayal, suspicion and romance ends up being a bit of a turkey.
The twist (if you can call it that) is revealed in such a ham-fisted and abrupt way you’d be forgiven for thinking they’d run out of money for the meter.
Its only saving grace is Cotillard who runs rings around everyone else.
Pitt occasionally looks as though he is trying, but this is nowhere near him on a good day.
The director and screenwriter should take some responsibility here for such a needlessly lumpy plot.
A shame, because this could have been great.
This is them failing rather than falling in love.
I wouldn’t buy a hat just yet.
★★★☆☆
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